Out of the Fog

As they walk through the thick blanket of fog,

All that is heard is their vulgarity toward God.
Repeating to spew the poison from their tongues,
As the blood diminishes to cover their sins they enjoy dwelling in.
More continue to walk into this venomous fog, lost in their disobedience.
They walk blindly pretending to see what is ahead, a nose too high obstructing the view.
Not knowing that their reality will end in a second or two, like the hasty winds.


 As they walk through the thick blanket of fog,
There boastful season has ended, for they feel nothing to walk on.
The ground was absent, the realization that they have fallen off an unseen cliff.
Was the lawlessness well worth it? With no hand of God to catch their fall,
To fall and continue to fall, only to be devoured by the darkness too many have swarmed to.
An end is the end, not when personal possessions have been lost but when a soul was never found.
Must it be too late to find out the truth, lost children? To grieve the Father as He sees His children pouring down that cliff.

 

 But then...silence! What can be heard through this thick blanket of fog?

One!... Two!.. Three! Out of the thousands. The only voices praying to Him pleading to be rescued!
Singing and searching for their Maker, the hearts that refused to hardened.
Knowing of their own disobedience, they continued to seek the One who forgave.
For the love and joy gleamed from His heart,
To know His children who were looking for their way back home.
He steered his way toward their voices, clearing the fog and shining is light.
Then to proceed the way back home to finally know what content is; anchored in His wholeness.

By R.E. Smith(ConsumedinFire)

To Be, or Not To Be... Obediant with God

August 29, 2014 to September 2, 2014

The last few days have been one complete nonstop trial. And all I have been able to do is praise God in all of it because it has mentally and physically exhausted me. The only resource I have left to keep my chin up is to look up to God and praise and worship through all this turmoil.

Wednesday August 27, 2014

After dropping of my sister to pick up her own car from a U-Haul center my rundown 1999 Hyundai Accent nicknamed “The Miracle” decided to act up on the road. I turned my car into a Winco parking lot to check liquids or to see if there was anything out of the ordinary. Everything seemed alright, that is until I tried to reverse to get out of my parking space to go back home. No reverse, nothing, nada. My wonderful transmission went out. On top of this, I decided to go out without a cellphone and no money so I couldn’t call anyone and I was sure I was not going to walk home in 104° heat. So I placed my car in neutral, pushed my car back (with these poorly used muscles), quickly jumped in and drove home at 10mph. I was praying and asking God to get me home safely. Most of what I was telling God was “Holy, Holy, Holy, Hallelujah, Praise the Lord” and that I was promised that I would get home safely and I praise God I did. Once I arrived home, my heart felt like it wanted nothing to do with me and jump out and run away. It took a while for this heart murmur to calm down; I had to sit down for a while to catch my breath. This was the first thing that the Lord used to try to make me get out of my stubborn decision of moving somewhere he did not want me to be.

Friday August 29, 2014

Moving Day. 

I need to make one thing clear. I asked the Holy Spirit if I should move back to Texas (but this time in San Antonio) and he clearly told me “NO”. No reason, he only told me “NO”. Once I continue on with my story of all the things that went wrong this week, I hope there is some understanding of why it is so important to be patient and be obedient to the Lord. Because if you want to do things your way (in which this case that is clearly what I did) things are going to go wrong, they are things that the Lord wanted you NOT to go through.

So this is the day was had to start driving down to Texas from California. It was my eldest sister, her daughter and me. My sister was going to drive a 17ft U-Haul truck with a car dolly to haul my little car. I was going to drive behind her in her car. When we were trying to drive my car on the dolly, I did not feel comfortable with hauling it at all. I didn’t think it was worth it to haul a car that had a broken transmission 1400 miles to another city were I didn’t know anyone who would be able to fix a transmission (at a good price). I had brought my car so many times to a close friend of my Dad’s that he has known for years and I had confidence in is work because he was also a mechanic for a major car dealership in town. I didn’t have enough time to leave it with him so he could fix it. I regret not listening to the Holy Spirit of making the decision to leave my car. He clearly knew what was up ahead. So we packed our things, said our goodbyes and that Friday night we were off to Texas.

Saturday August 30, 2014

We drove all Friday night and stopped in Needles, Ca. I don’t know how hot it was but it felt like a blow dryer on high heat out there. I totally thought I lived in the hot Mojave Desert in Lancaster, California but I knew nothing of what a real hot Mojave Desert was like until that day. Terrible. I stayed in the hotel until we left that night and it was still hot late at night. To the citizens of Needles, California; you deserve a Badge of Bravery.

Sunday August 31, 2014

As we were driving through New Mexico I noticed that a cover that goes over the dolly tire was breaking off. I got a hold of my sister to pull over and we bought some duct tape to keep hold of the cover (duct tape fixes everything). If I had ignored it, the cover would have broken off completely and one of the tail lights would have been gone as well.

So far it all seemed like a smooth ride. Things were going slow but we were safe.

Monday September 1, 2014

I feel I need to write this down at this moment about Monday, so far one of the toughest painful days I have had in a great while. It was painful…very painful. I failed to mention above that we were also taking a dog along with us. I have another sister who lives in Texas with her daughter, and Jack is their dog. They also lived in California before but moved to Texas but did not bring Jack with them. They gave me the responsibility of taking him to them. Jack is a Chihuahua-Wiener mix, loyal, and very well-trained.

We arrived in Texas at about noon. We stopped at a Love’s Truck Stop in Pecos, Texas to take a walk and buy some water. The U-Haul truck and car were driven for quite some time and it was about time to give them a rest. We waited there until about five in the afternoon. We took off and stopped at a picnic area between Pecos and Ft. Stockton. My sister and her daughter decided to fly a kite and I decided to let Jack out for a walk. Jack loves, absolutely loves to walk. He loves to sniff everything, he is very adventurous.

So… I decided to let him lose, off his leash.   

I was completely sleep deprived but I don’t see it as any excuse for the mistake I made that moment. I sat down to take a breather, my sister and her daughter were playing with their kite and I took my eyes off of Jack for a slight moment. Speed limit in this stretch of road is 75mph. There is no time to react when an animal is crossing the road. Jack wanted to discover the other side of the road and he went for it and was hit by a car.

I have never cried over a dog but I cried, I’m still crying. I always thought it was a bit silly for someone to cry over a dog. It’s only a dog… an animal. But Jack always thought he was human. To have to call my sister and tell her that Jack was dead because of me was so terribly painful. I don’t know exactly what my sister told her daughter that Jack was not going to make it but I pray wholeheartedly that they forgive me. I know he meant a lot to my niece and my sister; he was going to be their “Man of the House”.

I cried as we drove through the night. I was telling God that it was my fault, while he was trying to comfort me and help me understand that it was more than fine that Jack was in Heaven with him. That he was happy and still alive, his adventure never ended. He was home with his creator.

After a few hours of driving we stopped at a gas station in Junction, Texas. I was able to stretch my legs but I felt very lonely not having Jack around to allow him to get some exercise as well. He was supposed to be with me.

We were a few hours away from San Antonio, so we decided to continue with our trip. It was about two in the morning, we drove back onto Interstate 10 from Junction. As we almost left the city I realized that my Hyundai on the dolly was riding on one side of the dolly, not in between. I quickly called my sister to pull over the truck. We could not grasp what we saw. The platform that holds the tires down of my Hyundai was completely unhitched from the trailer. If my eye did not catch the trailer and if we had continued on our trip, it would have been more than likely that the car on the platform would have completely slid of the dolly and onto the interstate hitting me first since I was following behind the U-Haul truck. So we were in the pitch black night, figuring out how to get the car off the platform and the dolly. The car on the platform was teetering on one side of the dolly so if we made the wrong move to take the car down, it could have fallen to the side. We decided to get two tire jacks to lift up the platform so that it would even out with the dolly. This isn’t what made my head hurt the most, it was the fact that my car had a broken transmission and it could not reverse off the dolly ramp. So there was no way to reverse the car to get it off the dolly. The Holy Spirit new this was going to happen, but I didn’t listen. So I drove my sisters car back into Junction (looking like a beggar, for how dirty I was from crawling under the car dolly) to find a chain or rope. We connected the ropes from the back of the Hyundai (the car that doesn’t reverse) to the front of my sisters’ car. I steered my Hyundai that was on top of the dolly and my sister pulled my car of the platform and onto the dolly. But I steered too much to one side and my car fell about half a foot from the ground, thankfully nothing was damaged.

After getting the car off the dolly, my sister had already called a 24 hour U-Haul service truck to re-align the platform and dolly. He was going to take about 30 minutes to arrive, so my sister told me to drive my Hyundai up about half a mile on Interstate 10 to a picnic area. The transmission wasn’t working well, no reverse and all I could go was about 5mph up hill on a busy interstate. I was completely exhausted and still in pain from what happened to Jack. It was difficult to keep focus when I was going through all of this on only two hours of sleep. As I was driving slowly up hill, I cried and praised God.

All I had left in me was to praise God and sing to him. I couldn’t do anything more than to praise and worship God. What good would it have been to lose faith, to doubt or curse my God who has rescued me from trials like this time and time again before?

As I was climbing up the steep road, I was worried that my car would not make it because it felt so weak.  It was then I asked God to help my car, I was close to giving up. He told me that his angels were already there behind and on the side of my car pushing it uphill. I could not help but to laugh because the Lord was there the whole time. When these angels were helping me, I could feel it on the gas pedal and I can see it on the rpm’s that my car was going uphill so easily. I saw it spiritually how they were on each side of my car and behind the car pushing it up slowly up hill. It was beautiful to have experienced His angels helping me. I finally reached the picnic area and tried to sleep. I didn’t have a phone, food, blanket or water as I was waiting there. It took about an hour and a half for my sister to finally arrive. We took rest there but I could not sleep. I was so tired of being tired that I could not sleep. I looked up to the night sky to the stars and they were beautiful, I had to keep looking for something beautiful to find some peace. I had a long day behind me and the next day was already there. Dawn was there and the sun began to rise, I don’t know what is ahead but I pray for calm in this storm. I praise God for being with me; I wouldn’t have been able to keep going without him.

So now I am in San Antonio, Texas and I am not sure what is coming next. I don’t have a car that is working, I need to find work as soon as possible and I am currently staying at a very cheap inn. It would have been prudent to have a house ready waiting for us before we came out here. But I still have faith that things will go well.

The picnic area in the early morning hour.

Disobedients may not seem like a huge sin but God only wants to keep you from things that you do not see up ahead. God can see the big picture, he can see the enemy’s plans of what he can use to try to steal, kill and destroy. I know when I have disobeyed the Lord before this; it wasn’t such a big deal. For me to say that “it wasn’t such a big deal” to disobey God is clearly Pride speaking out of me, a very stinky flesh. I have definitely learned the hard way of why it is so crucial to obey the Lord. If I had listened to Him and patiently waited until He said it was fine to head back to Texas, none of this would have happened. When the enemy is working hard to take so much from you, keep your faith that God is also working hard to bless you and keep you safe. And when you are at a moment that you must make a very important decision, ask the Holy Spirit. Ask Him, converse with him so that your plans or decisions are aligned with his plans and the path he wants you to take.

The One Answer

My heart feels so heavy immersed in such woefulness,

If I sigh, if I hurt, if I deny,

Would it fix these trials of tribulation?

If I try, if I curse, if I cry,

Would it fix these trials of tribulation?

 

My heart has betrayed me, for it bleeds in throbbing pain,

As much as I try, As much as I weep, As much as I cry,

I must find strength deep in this heart to keep life.

As much as I scream, As much as I exhaust, As much as I dream,

I must find strength deep in this heart to keep life.

 

My heart knows the truth, with full assurance that You are the answer,

The Healer to this pain, The Healer to his hurt, The Answer to this rough terrain.

I seek your Light, for I cannot deny that You are my only true path.

The Good song to my distress, The Good song to sweep away sorrow, The Melody I cannot suppress.

I seek your Light, for I cannot deny that You are my only true path.

 

I know not of what lies ahead, but I sing praise to You my King.

I give up doubt, I give up the worries, I praise and shout,

You have rescued me from this abandon well time and time again,

I see that You are the answer, I know You are my God, I taste that You are my flavor,

You have rescued me from this abandon well time and time again,

 

My heart is a magnet towards You, it is filled with joy when You are near.

If I sigh, hurt, or deny; I must pray and worship the most High,

These trials of tribulation are nothing, for I am a child of the King.

If I try, curse, or cry; I must keep You close for your love will not run dry,

These trials of tribulation are nothing, for I am a child of the King.

 

By R.E. Smith (ConsumedinFire)

Groundless Mind

A mist of confusion and loss has rolled in,
Resembling defiant clouds that will not part.
Lord, I ask for understanding that comes from Your heart.
Let me not hear Satan's whispers of lies and guilt of my sin.

Forgive me, to come out and say,
This mind seems to run in chaos and nonsense each hour.
I plead for peace and clarity, these demons desire to devour.
I cannot continue to walk this path, darkened by the gray.

I see so many walking opposite, away from You.
Let me not be them, I know You are the way.
Guide my path, I truly desire to walk with You each day.
But this mind with voices so loud, takes me off Your path that is true.

I ask for purity in this mind, clarity clearer than water.
I ask for calm in all the chaos, to see through all the blur.
I ask for understanding, to hear Your voice and no voice other.
I know. I do know. Even when a dark fog would like to smother,
You will always be the answer and path, my One and only Savior.

By R.E. Smith (ConsumedinFire)

For He Is

 

A Letter From the Lord June 12, 2014

A letter from the Holy Spirit; there has been a struggle in my heart between God’s truth and Satan’s deceptive lies. The Lord has led me to write this, hopefully it is a blessing for others who are struggling because of their temptations or want to be uplifted by the Lord.

To my beloved child,

You will not inherit the kingdom of God if you continue to go down this path, my child. Sin is sin, and God your Creator despises sin. It is filth, it is soiled, and it is impure. My child, if you want to come into my Kingdom and have ever lasting life, you must truly come to me. True repentance equals true purity in the heart. Jesus Christ, my Son is your true purity. You cannot find purity through self and self-strength, but through my Son. My beloved, I don’t want to see you go down this deadly destructive path. It is not everlasting. Sin only cares about now, being fulfilled (falsely fulfilled) at this very moment. It is hasty, it is impatient, and it does not care about consequences. My truth is everlasting, it has worth. It is not needy, impure, or hasty. My truth makes wise decisions for a future benefit. The temptations are great, and I know they are difficult to struggle with. Don’t believe that I know nothing of what you are struggling with. But resist the enemy and he will flee. It may be difficult but it is not impossible to resist the temptation. Your God, your father wants you to be with him when it is time to come home. He does not want to see your name absent in the Book of Life. Oh what joy he will have to know and see that your name is written and that you will be attending his wedding feast. In the times of temptations, weigh the temptations versus everlasting life. See that my home, my truth has more value than any sin that the enemy wants you to fall into.

 

And I have been hearing your prayers, my beloved. The enemy has been telling you that I have forgotten you; that I do not want to hear you anymore or that you are a lost cause. My beloved place your faith in me. With all you have or don’t have, uphold me as you Lord and Savior. Know that I have listened to your cries. Seek me, seek purity, seek my heart, seek truth, and seek my everlasting life. Stop worrying about where you need to go and feeling like life has fled from you. Why are you in such a haste to get somewhere I don’t want you to be? I have my plans and you have yours. But my child, my plans are far greater and fulfilling. It may not be what you want because it isn’t what your driven heart has made you yearn for. My plans for you will make you content and fulfilled; content to be in me and my presence and not trying to make everyone around you content. I want to fill you up with my love and strength. Satan will give you measurements of what is enough to make you feel like you are bigger than a “somebody”. My child, with me and in me, your life will be far greater and worth more than the measurements of success in this world. Remember that time is short, my Son is coming soon! Come to me and allow me to show you the path I want you to take. Let me teach you so you may spread my word; spread my wealth of truth to my children who are lost and confused. Don’t depend on self; don’t look at self for I will take care of your worries and problems. Give me your heart and mind, so the enemy does not have such a stronghold to cause confusion or bitterness. Speak to me daily and hourly, let me hear what you have to say. Don’t bottle it up inside for it will spoil your heart. A drop of bitterness and misery only grows into an ocean if it isn’t given to the Lord. Allow him to purify that ocean into his ocean of love, wisdom and understanding. Come to me, my child and let me open your eyes. Allow me to take your hand and walk you into my presence. Let me fill you up with my joy in this time of sorrow and oppression. I have saved you before and I can do it again, and again, and again. Because I will never give up on you! Never, ever, ever! You are mine, so come to me my beloved. Come to me!

The Light in Darkness

The force of hesitation has kept me far from you my King,

The doubt has kept me underwater; my hardened heart has made me cold and dead.

Floating through the waves but slowly drowning, not knowing what joy is or what is suffering.

The waves crash on me to and fro, looking at the dark skies with glass eyes that can't be read.

Water has become heavy; the ripples have shadowed me from your Light,

All that can be done is to wonder at the stars, for they answer "There is a Mighty God"

Lord, may I pray "Rescue me from this sea, I no longer want to dwell in the night".

The heaviness of the water has clenched to my breath, "Lord save me with your golden rod ".

The weeping tears have deepened the tides of sorrow, "Lord deliver me soon ".

If this is the end to my Earthly life, "Lord wake me to Eternal life, take me to your shelter",

I've closed my eyes, 'I'm ready Lord, deliver me from the harshness of war under this moon".

The dark through my eyelids were no more, to open them to the sight of my Savior.

His Mighty hand swooped down to carry me out of the murky water that I dwelled in for too long,

Murky water filled with depression oppressed within my heart and mind.

Finally my eyes were not deceived; my Shepherd has heard my prayer and song.

He lifts me up, soaring on his wings of warmth, my woefulness left behind.

He takes me to his home, his realm that holds his Honorable Throne,

The weights of the world, the anguish from the pain, and the demons have left my head,

They fled from the Light of God, His light shining brighter than any rhinestone.

The Lord takes my hand and walks me through a gentle path beside a riverbed.

"Come walk with me, and accept my complete honesty,

I did not give you life on Earth, so that Darkness could take a hold of you.

You are mine, you were always mine, and I say this truthfully.

Satan has lied to you, to say you were worth nothing so you would not pursue,

He saw the danger of you, a Child of God after my own heart.

Your passion and eagerness to seek me was strong,

But Satan fed little lies in your mind and heart to take you apart.

He told you to give up; life was not worth it, that you did not belong.

That you were worthless, abandoned, and forgotten,

Making you believe that you were too broken to fix; that you were lonely, depressed, and unseen.

Satan condemned you when you stumbled with sin to make you think you were so rotten,

He wants to drag my children down; Satan's plans are ever obscene.

My Child, hear my voice and take these words to heart. You are not an error or weak!

My beloved, I treasure you. I take delight in having you with me.

Don't shut me out; let me in your heart. Let me hear you speak.

Speak to me of your concerns, allow me to lead the path, I ardently love thee.

Go back to your temporal home; don't allow darkness to seep into your heart and soul.

My beloved, I have given you purpose. Be my servant and spread my love.

Don't look right or left, I am your straight and narrow path. I am the end goal.

Seek my truth, bear good fruits and know that I am all around you, in you and above.

 

By R.E. Smith (ConsumedinFire)